Practising Confidence

A thing happened today; a thing not uncommon for me, but still always uncomfortable. I came into work, sat at my desk and suddenly felt an overwhelming wave of insecurities. I worried none of my coworkers liked me, I worried I looked ugly today, I worried I was stupid, and plenty more. I’m sure you can all relate to feeling one of these things at some point in time, but it really disarms my whole body and mind when these insecurities surface all at once. In an attempt to distract myself, I scoured the Ted Talks website. Lately I’ve really enjoyed having them playing while I work, and I’ve found myself fascinated with various subjects of conversation. Anyway, I happened to see this video in the list of most popular Ted Talks.

It’s such an inspiring and interesting talk, I thoroughly recommend you all watch it. It got me thinking about confidence. My own; how sometimes I can have plenty and feel like the life and soul of a party. And other times, when I’m a small, mess of a person curled into the corner of the room scared to make any sudden movements. I wondered about confident people, if it comes naturally to them, or if they ‘practice’. And I’ve decided to practice for myself everyday, to see if I really can improve my life; whether in big or small ways. This will mean doing things I don’t want to do, overcoming fears, feeling silly and trying to accept things which I cannot change.

 

I will be bringing you more posts on this, starting tomorrow. I’ll be writing a list of ways to apparently improve confidence, from whatever sources I can get my hands onto. Then after trying them, I will be periodically letting you guys know how it’s going and if I feel I’ve improved my confidence.

 

I hope you join me along the way and let me know if you have any thoughts on this topic, or even better- tips for me! Thanks for reading guys.

 

 

 

lovej

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  • Confidence is always a delicate issue and different people deal with it many ways, like for example i feel insecure to leave the house wihout make up, which is silly but I can relate to all you said in this post and looking forward to hearing your thoughts and process of dealing with it.

    Ill be following you on this one!

    Lovely post 🙂

    Yas
    http://www.yasbeyou.com

    x

    • Aww thanks Yasmin! Sometimes I can be really confident and other times so insecure, like a yoyo haha. Xx

  • I think confidence is a skill just like any other – some people are more naturally inclined to exercise it, so seem confident from the get-go, and others need to work at it before it can become something like second nature. It really is a shame that schools don't teach confidence in between history and geography, because it's a skill that we all need!

    I love topics like this and look forward to see your takes on it! x

    Ornella | EUHNELLA |

    • Thank you Ornella! I seem to be one of those people who need to work on it, like you said. I hope things improve! I'm taking positive steps 🙂 xx

    • she basically said everything i was going to say. enjoyed reading this post

      http://www.bumascloset.com

  • I love this. I too flit from confident to a shy insecure mess shell of a person and I literally have no idea why. It's like a lightbulb that just flicks on and off at whim.

    I'm definitely looking forward to seeing what your take on all this is!

    Ash – http://theashleighproject.co.uk

    • Ash that sounds exactly like me! Hard sometimes isn't it? Thanks lovely!! Il be letting you know how I get on! Xx

  • So proud of you lovely lady, you're stunning and you deserve to walk around with your head held high! Sending you big hugs xo

    • You always make me wana well up! You're too sweet! ! Haha. Be meaner!! Xx ps it's because you're a teacher 😉

  • Confidence is just something that comes with time I think and due to what's happened in life affects people in differernt ways. I can't imagine anyone hating you and you are such a beautiful person so just keep telling yourself that 🙂 I really like the Elizabeth Gilbert and Jon Ronson Ted Talks! 🙂 x
    http://thegirlwiththestrawberrytattoo.blogspot.co.uk/

    • I just watched Elizabeths thanks Lauz!! It was great. Ahh you're right though, some events can knock confidence badly though. I just hope I can change that!! Xx

  • Your writing is always so inspirational 🙂 I look forward to your tips! I gained confidence when I was younger; I guess it was through pushing myself to do things I'd usually *hate* doing and just remembering to focus on the positives 🙂

    http://www.stylesunrise.co.uk

    x

    • Really? God that's so nice. Possibly one of the most treasured compliments I'll get, because if my writing could ever be inspirational in any way that would be a dream, Thanks so much Karen! I'll try to take your advice and push through! Thank you! <3
      xxx

  • Such an inspiring post – thanks for sharing this. I think we could all do with a little confidence, certainly myself so this is really helpful. Thanks very much! I adore your blog xx

    Sophie Elizabeth
    http://www.popcornandglitter.co.uk

    • Wow, thank you! I didn't think this post would even get a comment because it's just the initial first thoughts on this subject (with more to come..) but thank you so much! xxx

  • This is a good idea. I really hope you find something that works well for you. I personally think I am confident in myself. I just have learnt not to care really!

    Ellen
    My Blog

  • You'd never know that you ever had lapses in confidence, I always look up to you for your confidence within the blogging world and your personal life (for your jobs interviews and stuff).
    You're beautiful Jem. Love you!!! xo

    • I know I replied to this on our Facey chat haha, but I jus wana say this really, really made my heart burst! I know I come across sooo confident and jokey and full of life, but Im behind a screen and I love that you get to see that part of me. But yeah I do have serious lapses, and its horrible – which is why I think we can actually relate to a lot of things (with social situations etc!) but I do hope I can get back to my old confident self, because I never used to be like this. Ahh.. we'll see!
      I love you Danielle! <3 xxx

  • I have literally zero confidence- I'm a terrible worry guts and I'm constantly having the same thoughts you have. It's so soul destroying sometimes.

    • I know how you feel, and I wish it were different for us both lovely.
      I'm making positive changes, I hope you can too – and hopefully we'll both get there 🙂 xx

  • This reminded me of my younger me. I stun myself now. If I had known then that I would in the future be interviewed for magazines and give presentations I would have run away screaming. I can say having now been both confidence comes from praise from knowing you know your work subject and maybe in my case age as well. However your blog reminds me also now of my daughters whom I need to bolster and work on. Thank you:)

    • Wow, this is so crazy to hear how far you've come!
      The thing is, my confidence is with such random things sometimes and it can be crippling. Whereas, if I had to do a presentation in front of people = I'd be ok to be honest. No I wouldnt 'love' it, but I wouldnt stress much tbh. I think I've done those situations so much I'm ok with those now.
      It can be just any situation that makes me uncomfortable – I go into a shell! Hopefully this can change. xx

  • This reminded me of my younger me. I stun myself now. If I had known then that I would in the future be interviewed for magazines and give presentations I would have run away screaming. I can say having now been both confidence comes from praise from knowing you know your work subject and maybe in my case age as well. However your blog reminds me also now of my daughters whom I need to bolster and work on. Thank you:)

  • I will check out that video in a moment! This is a new template right? I love it – especially the background! xx

    ZoesSecretStyle.blogspot.co.il

  • I think everyone deals with good days & bad days. Feeling great & alive & well, then not so much. Thinking the world loves you, to thinking you're doing everything wrong. It's "normal" (I don't really like that word, since we are all unique).

    I look forward to playing this video tonight! Thanks!

    -Cory U @ http://www.coryu.ca

  • I've just added the Ted Talk to my phone to listen to on my way to work tomorrow morning. I'm really invested in this idea you have to "practice" confidence. Looking forward to reading about your progress x
    Angelina | The Peony Diaries

  • I understand these feelings too, riddled by anxiety on occasions but practicing confidence really is key, faking to making and all that.
    http://www.jaymieocallaghan.blogspot.co.uk
    xx