I’m in the process of a transformation this year. I’m making a lot of life changes and it’s really shaping who I am and how I present myself to the world. All positively I hope, of course. But it’s scary and hard and daunting and… just plain old boring from the outside I imagine.
Some of the hardest challenges I’ve set myself include becoming a healthier,fitter person. I hope to drop quite a few dress sizes, and really love my body again; but it’s such a hard thing to do. Then my next challenge is to try grow my confidence, and do outfit posts. Eventually getting to the point where I hopefully do unique, exciting, quirky outfit posts that really show off who I am. But again, this shit is not easy.
I see people getting outfit posts all the time at blog events, or even just getting their boyfriend/girlfriend to take a quick snap of them and I cringe inside. The thought of it TERRIFIES me. I’m the type of person who can easily stand up in front of 100 people and give a speech, or go up to someone I’ve never met before and introduce myself. But if you get the camera out? I’ll feel totally out of place and want to curl up in a ball.
Even the thought of Gary taking a photo of me (my boyfriend of over 5 years!) makes my skin crawl. I feel like as soon as someone looks at me through the lens of a camera they see every single flaw, inside and out, and it’s on show for the whole world to see. My stomach gets knotted, I feel all hot and bothered, I worry EVERYONE is staring at me and judging me, and I don’t know what to do with my arms. It’s awful. And I hate even looking at the end result. Blog pals always laugh at me because I mostly refuse to be in photos unless it’s a selfie (giving me control), and I laugh along too as I know it’s silly. But the truth is I really can’t help it. Oh, and it’s not the weight thing either. Yes, I really do want to lose weight; but that’s not my issue at all. I’ve always been like this, even at my slimmest. It’s the reason my Mum only has a small amount of photos of me through my teens. I’d lost all confidence. And I see people bigger than me getting AMAZING outfit photos, because they practically glow with confidence, and I envy them.
So here’s the thing. I’d already planned on trying to conquer these changes this year, and I’m doing well I think. I recently lost a stone in weight, and I’m sticking to a much healthier food plan. I’m also trying to incorporate more gentle exercise into my routine, even by planning weekly walks around the city with a blogger pal. Every little helps, right?
But the confidence/photo/outfit post thing? I’m still struggling. I’m still scared. But then I was recently contacted, to see if I’d like to try out some of George Jeans range*; and I was having one of those moments where I was like, ‘Yeah! I can do this. I wear jeans all the time and it’ll be fine getting a few photos.’ Ha ha ha. Oh Jemma, you so funny. It was not fine.
But anyway, I said yes and ordered a pair that promised all the nice things you want in a pair of jeans. The ones that appealed to me most were the new Wonderfit Jeans from their skinny range. I’ve always loved skinny jeans since I was an emo kid, and they’ve stood the test of time for me. Plus the Wonderfit range looked especially impressive; boasting a great fit, comfortable denim and shaped to fit each person perfectly.
When they arrived I was happy, they looked great quality and exactly my style. But when I tried them on I was THRILLED. They did not squeeze me to the point of asphyxiation, they weren’t stiff as a board like those jeans which mean you can’t sit down (you know the ones), and they haven’t gone saggy after a few washes/wears. YAY. You know what the real test was? Wearing them all day for shopping, seeing friends and then coming home. Usually, even if I like a pair of jeans you better believe they are OFF the moment I get back in the house. Because you just can’t lounge about in jeans, right? Wrong. Wonderfit Jeans are a bloody god send, I swear. They bend and mould with you, and I’ve even lost a dress size since I first got them, and they still feel amazing!
So I’ve basically lived in these jeans since I got them, and I’ve truly felt like one of the #GeorgeJeansQueen ‘s. Awesome.
However, now I have to share outfit photos with you guys …and I wanted the world to collapse and swallow me whole. But here we are. I’m sharing terrible bedroom snaps. Not anything impressive. But hopefully you’ll forgive me. This is my starting point. This is me biting the bullet, this is me really trying. I promise I’ll get better, I promise I’ll eventually let Gary take photos, I’ll go outside and actually do this in public; eek.
But for now? Know that I’m so grateful that these jeans; a simple wardrobe staple, are really helping me feel confident for the first time in forever. I absolutely adore them. In fact, I’ve since ordered two more pairs, in black! If you want a pair of George’s Jeans for yourself, I thoroughly recommend going for the Wonderfit style. Trust me, you’ll love ’em.
And if you could bear with me while I try this thing out, I’d SO appreciate it.
Love you guys x