I recently got chatting on my Instagram stories, about one or two people following me who I’m convinced don’t like me. Not that I’m simply paranoid, like they’ve subtweeted me a whole bunch of times. AND with one person, I’ve actually seen a screenshot of this person badmouthing me (which they don’t know), yet they still follow me. It surprises me.
I’m not here to talk about that. Not everyone will like you, that’s fine! You might as well toughen up and accept that as fact. But what I do find interesting on social media these days; is why we still follow people we don’t like? It got me thinking, and I asked people to tell me their personal reasons for doing this.
I got A LOT of messages with a whole variety of answers, so I thought I’d share some of them today (Thank you to everyone who was honest and messaged me to contribute!).
- ‘I no longer like this person, but I’m worried they’ll cause drama if I unfollow, or message me about it.’ (This was the most popular answer by far)
- ‘They are often involved with drama, and I enjoy knowing what’s going on’.
- ‘They follow me, so I feel obligated.’
- ‘It’s probably because I’m too lazy to unfollow all the people I don’t like’.
- ‘If I’m honest, I like being nosey and seeing what they’re up to, even if I don’t like them’.
- ‘I used to like them but we don’t talk anymore, and I feel bad unfollowing’.
There were more answers, and often more detailed responses; but these were definitely the most common explanations that came up.
I honestly found it so sad, and ultimately shocking; how many of us are following someone we don’t like for fear they will get bitchy/call us out. I do this too, just for the record. There is ONE person I follow that I don’t like anymore; nothing bitchy, but we have nothing in common, they have a lot of negative energy, and we never talk anyway. But yet I still follow. It’s baffling, isn’t it?
But I don’t think those of us in this position are to blame, I think people need to sit down and stop calling people out for unfollowing. This also includes people who don’t ‘call out’ but get bitchy in private, or subtweet. You probably haven’t meant it bad, and you’re just feeling a little sensitive that someone has unfollowed (especially if you thought they liked you) – and I TOTALLY get this. I’ve had this! I’ve had someone unfollow me I thought was a friend, and I felt a bit sensitive about it. But I soon got over it; because they have every right to. Maybe they didn’t mean it bad, they just can’t relate to me anymore, maybe we don’t talk enough and they only want to follow close friends, or maybe they just don’t like me. That’s okay! That’s life. I’ve given myself a reality check and told myself to stop expecting everyone to like me. So for anyone who has unfollowed me, but still may read this at some point; we’re cool. Sorry if I ever offended you or did something you didn’t like, but I hold no grudge.
Remember that episode of Friends where Monica and Phoebe want to ‘phase out’ that old friend of theirs that they no longer get on with?
That’s a thing of the past! Social media now means we’re living in an age where the ‘phase out’ is much, much harder. If you haven’t talked to someone in forever, it’s no longer a quiet, subtle thing when you stop considering them a friend. It’s a very loud, obvious, in your face thing. You instantly see that when you visit their profile, it no longer says ‘follows you’ OR even harsher; if you use apps like Crowdfire, then BAM!; you get a little notification that this person doesn’t want you on their feed anymore. COLD EH? But that person, as we’ve discussed, might not mean it at all bad. Probably doesn’t, in fact.
So I understand that you may feel butthurt. But guys, c’mon. Let’s pull ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and get over it. You’re awesome, so if someone unfollows, it doesn’t make you any less awesome.
I implore all those people who would usually feel offended (myself included!), or even those who take to bitching – to STOP. Try understand, and chill. Stop acting like people have to follow you.
I also implore all of us following someone we don’t like, to unfollow (again, myself included!). Well, except for those that said they still follow as they like seeing drama – that seems like wasted energy on negative shit to me, but that’s your choice . But for the rest of us scared of hitting that unfollow button; let’s take a breath, remind ourselves its fucking social media and none of this matters, and do it.
You should surround yourself with good energy, people you like, and happy things. This should always extend to social media too.
p.s. I no longer use Crowdfire to see who unfollows me, I only check it to see inactive accounts. It helps.
p.p.s. I realise this may convince more people to unfollow me, that’s ok. Do what’s right for you guys.
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