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The People I’ve Unfollowed

17th August 2016

I wanted to address that sometimes I unfollow people. We all do. Whether it’s their blogs, their Twitter, Instagram, whatever. It happens.

Today I thought I’d explain a little about why I might have unfollowed some people. For the sake of time, I’m not including the obvious cases where I would unfollow someone. If I see you’re quite mean, rude, have beliefs totally different to mine (offensive ones, not just a different belief system) – I’m obviously going to unfollow.

No, today isn’t about that. This is about the nice guys, the swell pals. The ‘why would you unfollow those people?’ people.

If I’ve ever unfollowed you, and it wasn’t for an obvious reason like you’ve been a bit of a dick, then I’d like to say sorry. But it definitely isn’t personal.

A lot of the time, I will unfollow people if I feel we are totally unconnected, and it’s probably my most common reason for unfollowing someone. By unconnected, I mean we never ever talk, I don’t read your blog (that doesn’t mean it’s not great. Perhaps it’s not my thing, or I never really checked it out. Bear in mind it’s hard to keep up with thousands online.) Unconnected to me would mean we never interact and never have, we don’t seem to have similar thoughts, hobbies, beliefs. Maybe I haven’t even seen you talk to ‘similar’ friends. Basically there is just nothing connecting us except when I visit your profile it says ‘following’.

Then yes, I will probably unfollow if I realise this. And I really don’t want that to hurt your feelings, because I would totally understand if you did the same. It’s not a big deal to me, but I know to some people it is. And maybe one day we will start interacting, and I will follow back again. That’s cool too. But it’s never personal.

The other time I might unfollow someone, is when I’m affected by how they make me feel. For example, I unfollowed someone a few months ago, who seemed great, and was lovely, and although we only spoke every now and again, seemed like a nice enough person. However, they were very interested in negative conversations/subjects, and they would be really negative on their feed, and therefore on mine, often. As much as I wish it didn’t affect me, it did. It would put me on a downer, and it started to change the mood I was in when I seen it. Not that they were doing anything bad/wrong; but it was things I didn’t want to think about/see when on social media. Bear in mind this is my full time job, I’m online a lot. If something affects my mood like this a lot, it can be draining. I tried to use the mute function on this person, so I didn’t have to unfollow – but I’ve found this not only mutes them in my feed, it doesn’t even alert me when they’re tweeting me. I didn’t realise this for a while, and I hate to be completely rude and ignorant.

So I had to unfollow.

These are the two reasons I unfollow people apart from the obvious reasons I mentioned (being offensive, rude, etc). Being totally unconnected/not knowing you, or unfortunately being affected by your feed in some way that I wish not to be (it could differ from the specific reason I mentioned above).

Each time, it hasn’t been carelessly losing numbers though, or personally wanting to offend anyone. I’m sure many, many people unfollow me and will continue to do so; for reasons quite similar. That’s cool! I get it. Of course I’m not saying I’m not hurt if I find out someone I loved and spoke to often unfollowed me; of course I am. But I accept they have their reasons and I try not to take it personally, I try to understand.

I also don’t ask them why they’ve unfollowed me. I have never, ever asked anyone this. Even if I’ve been dying to know. And the main reason being, it can be quite a confrontational thing to be asked WHY you have unfollowed someone. Believe me, people have done it to me. And it makes me feel like crap. I never want to do that, I never want people to feel like they have to follow me either, that’s just not what I’m about.

So remember guys, if someone unfollows you, try not to take it to heart. You are awesome, and you do your thing. It doesn’t mean they’re being horrible. And never feel guilty about who you choose to unfollow too. Maybe you just need to clear your feed for the people you really want to keep up with.

Sending lots of love to you all.

 

lovej

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