As I mentioned in one of my recent blog posts; I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting lately. Just general assessing of my life, goals, and current state of mind. I think it’s really important to check in with yourself often like this; as we can sometimes run on autopilot without really evaluating if we’re happy, healthy, doing what’s best for ourselves, etc.
In doing so recently, I realised just how far I’ve come in the past ten years. I always refer to 19 being my favourite age so far, and it’s hard to believe that was ten years ago. I was in my third year at college, just about to head to Uni, and was wildly happy, irresponsible, ambitious and stupid. But y’know, that sort of naive/happy sort of stupid? Before any real heartbreak, pain or loss; basically. It was wonderfully ignorant. So yeah, I do think of that time very fondly.
But that’s not to say I’m not happy now; I’ve just come such a long way and learned so much now. I have a deep, sustainable happiness that hasn’t faltered in the longest time; rather than a fleeting high that I keep needing to chase.
I wanted to share today some of the ways in which I’ve grown over the past ten years, and become a better version of myself. It’s easy to look at the past with rose-coloured glasses, but I don’t give myself enough credit for who I am right now, and how far I’ve come. So this is my attempt to change that!
6 Ways I’ve Changed In 10 Years
I’m so much more confident in my choices. I don’t live my life to please others, and I don’t hesitate in the pursuit of my own happiness. It’s so much more natural to me now, to do whatever I feel is best for me; rather than trying to do what my friends are doing, or following their path in life.
I respect my body more. I can’t say I’m 100% body confident or that I don’t have my fair share of issues; but I do respect my body and what it can do much more. I want to look after it to nourish and protect it, rather than simply to look a certain way. I have a long journey to go on, but it’s longer obsessed with scales and measurements.
I’m better at being alone. Lemme be clear here guys; I’m not a totally sassy independent woman who don’t need anybody. I’m actually quite attached to that fiance of mine! But 10 years ago, the thought of even spending an evening alone would send me into utter panic. Let alone be single, oh my gosh. I could probably write an essay on this, and maybe I will one day. But basically I’m much more confident in that I’ll be okay if I’m alone, single, and with only myself to rely on. That’s not what I want, but I know I can do it if I have to.
I have perspective. In the past 10 years I’ve experienced deep pain and loss, which has given me real perspective in life. I wish I didn’t have to have these losses to learn these lessons, but I now realise just how fragile life is, and how important every single day is. Life is short. You realise what’s a big deal, and what isn’t.
I know real, kind love. I have experienced different types of love, and it’s been a roller-coaster of a journey. I experienced the feeling of thinking I was in love, I experienced actually being in love, I experienced love that ruined me, and I now have love that builds me up. I now know my worth, and understand myself and what I need better than ever before.
I have more direction. I may not have things all planned out, but I certainly know what brings me joy now. I know that I want to have a creative career, I know that I want a family, I know that I want to keep trying new things. 10 Years ago I was flitting between courses, boyfriends, and not having a clue what I was doing with my life. I was also pretty wreckless.
Overall I feel really happy comparing myself right now to the person I was ten years ago, and it’s lovely to see the ways in which I’ve grown.
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