Like a lot of bloggers, I love a goal or a target to try hit. I’m always motivated by lists, looking to the future and trying to achieve new goals that I think will help myself. I create monthly goals, I wrote about my resolutions for the year, and many of you know from my Insta stories that I have a whiteboard above my desk with my five year plan on it. Yep, seriously. These are always designed to INSPIRE me by the way, never to make me feel bad or push myself too hard. If I felt even a slight niggling that I was pressuring myself, I can promise you I’d wipe that board clean and just take each day at a time.
However it makes me feel good, and really does keep me on track each week/month/year. Sure, things change and so do my list of goals; nothing is set in stone and I’m okay with that. I know to roll with it.
But 2018 has seen me really persevering with one vague but important goal.
DOES THIS MAKE ME HAPPY?
Sounds obvious, and simple enough, doesn’t it? But it’s one that’s so easily forgotten by a lot of us I’m sure.
No matter how many things are listed on my monthly goals, each one roots back to happiness. If I have a fitness goal on there, it’s because I’m enjoying going swimming and it makes me happy to improve. Writing it down reminds me to keep it up, and make time for it. It’s certainly not on my list because I feel like I should be doing it though.
That was the old me. I’d write goals or resolutions of things I thought I SHOULD be working towards, rather than simply taking it easy and having a proper think about what makes me happy. And though I’m very goal orientated and still found some success doing this, I wasn’t as happy as I could have been; and isn’t that the whole point?
So I’ve stopped coming up with goals based on where I want to be next month/next year/in the next five years. Because I’m sure I’ll be a different person by then, and trying to be a bit psychic on what future Jemma may want just sounds ridiculous.
So I’m focusing on HAPPINESS.
For example, things that make me happy right now are; going swimming with Gary, seeing friends and family, painting, creating a lovely home for us, trying something new creatively.
So how have these things changed my goals? Well, here’s just a few from the whiteboard hanging in front of me;
- Go swimming at least once a week with Gary
- Book a trip to Liverpool
- Make plans with local pals
- Visit a local exhibition
- Sell at least one painting per month
- Make a list of things we need to buy for the home, room by room, and tick them off as we go
- Plan out ideas with Gary on how we can use our space better
- Work up some designs for Tshirts and rubber stamps
So you can see how these goals directly encourage all the things that make me happy, rather than focusing on what I think I should be working towards.
I’ve been reducing all the things that make me unhappy, as much as possible in my life. I don’t waste time on projects that I’m not passionate about anymore, I try to reduce my worry over bills by only buying the essentials, and I have been really trying to take actionable steps to improve my confidence.
That last one is a whole world of difficult, obviously. It’s not as easy as snapping your fingers and feeling like a sassy princess. But there are things I can do to help myself along, and I’ve made them a priority. Like being in front of the camera more. I’m sure some of you have noticed the past few months I’ve shown myself on Instagram and my blog than ever before, and this is a purposeful decision. I used to feel SO ugly, and would tell myself how horrible I look after every single photo, and therefore never want another one. These days I accept that nobody is perfect, I focus on the things that I DO like about my appearance, and I tell myself something nice each day. It sounds a little hippie, I know; but it bloody helps.
So yes, happiness is my true goal. I’ll always be the type of girl who shares her monthly goals, or hoping for the year, and whatnot. But please know that it all comes from a place of happiness, and I’m very casual and easy going about hitting them. I hope you guys are too, don’t feel like you have to change a thing if you’re happy.
“Happiness radiates like the fragrance from a flower and draws all good things towards you.”
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