We move home next week, and will finally be making that long trip with all of our belongings from here in Liverpool, to the very bottom of the country, in Plymouth. I’m feeling a mix of emotions, as expected, but I totally underestimated how this would affect me in different ways.
I feel like each new feeling comes in waves, and it crashes into me without warning or care. Sometimes that’s really good, like when I realise just how amazing it’s going to be to have a house to call our very own. Or when I think about how much more space we’re going to have. Or how I can decorate, and build, and craft a new space that is totally our own.
And then other times I panic that I’m hiding myself away in the middle of nowhere (okay, exaggeration), with no friends, no family, and no idea what I’m doing. And I mean PANIC.
OR, my worry will build from the actual move itself; like how we need to still pack up over half our belongings, and how we need to see the landlord one last time before we move to see if we can get our deposit back, and how we need to arrange furniture being taken away that we won’t be moving with us. Oh then there’s needing so much extra money too, for the moving van, for the final bills here, the new bills in the new place, for buying all the little things that seem like nothing but all add up… There are a million more things like this, but I’ll spare the details.
When these worries pile up, as they have been so often lately, I tend to shut down and want to bury my head in the sand. It’s the worst reaction I could have really, but typical of me. I’m so often praised for how motivated and organised I am, and I’ll be honest and toot my own horn here for once; it’s damn right, I am! I’m a bit of a workaholic and when I put my mind to something I usually get it done pretty well. However, the trade off is that I don’t deal with stress well, at all. I shut everyone out, don’t see friends, can’t concentrate on work, and basic needs like eating and sleeping get tossed out of the window. Oh, also, I turn into a grumpy bitch. This happened recently, and I found I couldn’t even deal with social media for a few days. It felt like any notification I got was a new piece of stress, another thing I had to do.
Everyone says moving is one of the most stressful things you can ever do, and I totally get it now. I used to think that was ridiculous, but it’s really not. Also throw in the fact I’m moving so far away, I have a business to run in the middle of all this, an Etsy shop that I have to keep pushing sales on, design projects to keep up, and goodbyes to say to people I love… well, yeah… I’m a ticking time bomb.
It’s a great thing that’s happening. Great in the sense of ‘awesome’, but also in the sense of GREAT/significant. I’m sure it’s all going to be worthwhile, and I know I’m truly doing something special, something that I always wanted. But it’s definitely overwhelming.
So I guess I just wanted to say, sorry if I’m a little ‘AWOL’, slow to reply, distant, or basically not myself. I’m excited and nervous and a ball of stress right now, so please bear with me! I’m definitely okay overall 🙂 but y’know, the extra support and understanding is so appreciated.
I’ll keep you all updated, wish me luck! xo
p.s. Im totally digging the new look to my blog, and check out all those new categories on the top drop-down bar! 🙂