I’ve done that thing again.
The thing I always promise myself I won’t do again, the thing I try to avoid but always seems to happen somehow anyway.
I get caught up in a feeling; a budding inspiration or creative drive that fuels me to GO GO GO! I let it keep me up at night, I let it work away on me, inside and out, constantly burning through my resources. I absolutely thrive in that sweet spot where my creativity and motivation combine together, and life just sort of lets it happen without distraction. It’s absolutely perfect.
But I push it too hard, I keep going at it, using up every single ounce of energy I have until it leaves me empty. I’m now completely desolated of all motivation. I’m feeling the pressure of my own mind beating against itself, trying to push myself further. It’s saying ‘C’mon Jemma! Do more, keep going, time is precious!’ but I’ve no idea what to do with that time. I’m staring down at the canvas and with a heavy sigh I look away. Maybe later.
For now I’ll try ignore my mind, keep it busy with other things. Go for walks, get lost in books, plan trips, and stop worrying about emails. For a little while, at least. Then hopefully that pressure will die down, and leave space for my creativity to flourish again.