There once was a blogger called Jemma. She was someone who enjoyed writing about all her favourite things, and sharing them on her blog for all to see. Blogging had brought her great friends, and she loved making new ones all the time.
One day, she was invited to the #NWMeet blog event in Liverpool, and was very excited to meet even more bloggers and have another great experience. She was counting down the days until she could see old friends and make new ones. It was going to be a fabulous day, as she knew a lot of effort had gone into it by two very awesome ladies.
So she had it all planned out.
She was going to choose the perfect outfit. She was going to do her makeup like never before. She was going to look her very very best. She was going to arrive early. She would be sweet and friendly to everyone, and remember everyone’s names. She would make sure she was graceful and elegant and left everyone with a great impression. She had it all planned…
However, the story all goes a bit wrong here for Jemma.
Instead of having her perfect little outfit planned; she leaves it until last minute, claiming that she’ll find something in her wardrobe on the day. Instead of getting up early and being ahead of schedule; she wakes up to the cat putting it’s bum in her face and panicking, realising she’d overslept. She races around throwing any clothes on without even checking if they look okay, and literally slapping some makeup on her face. Her hair is a mess of curls, but there’s nothing she could do about that. She leaves the house wayyy behind on schedule and worries that she may have forgotten something. (She has. She’s forgotten many things.)
She’s walking to the meet up place to meet all the other girls, when she realised something AWFUL. She was due on her period that very same day. Brilliant. So she stops at the local shop to pick up some ladies products, just in case she may need them. Unfortunately the nice shop attendant didn’t understand much English. And so, Jemma had to resort to shouting ‘TAMPONS!’ and pointing wildly. Not so elegant.
After that, it was a race to meet everyone at the train station. She of course, got there very late and gave everyone a rushed ‘Hello!’ and gave an overall sense of frazzled-ness rather than the graceful impression she was going for. In fact, she swore quite a bit and told everyone her period story. Great!
The event itself was amazing, and Jemma actually had the time of her life. Unfortunately she made everyone see she’s a fan of a drink (too much) and there is nothing graceful about her. She was loud, and brash.. and probably the most Scouse person there. Even at a Liverpool event. But it was okay, everyone was wonderful, lovely, kind and understanding. In fact, some of the laughs might have been WITH her, rather than at her. (But who can really tell??)
After a long, lovely day it was time to go home. Jemma was fortunate enough to have found someone kind enough to offer her a lift home in their car too, amazing! After all, lugging all those bags all the way home on the train and the long walk wouldn’t be fun.
So off they popped in the car…
…Only to reach Jemma’s home in less than two minutes.
Yes that’s right.
The event was two minutes away from Jemma’s fucking house and she didn’t even realise. She had gotten the train to the event like an idiot.
Some things never change.
(This was the best day of Jemma’s whole blogging experience! But thought you might all want an insight into just how hopeless her day to day life actually is! Look out for my ‘proper’ event post soon with goody bag details!)
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