With Valentines coming up, it got me thinking about relationships and dating. Sure, Gary and I go on dates, and regularly make an effort to keep that loveliness there even after almost five years. But I no longer describe us as ‘dating’. We live together, we have a cat, we’ve met each other’s families; we’re a lot more serious than what ‘dating’ would imply.
Truth is I haven’t been single in a long time now, and I honestly think I’d be hopeless at it. Dating apps weren’t reaaallly a thing the last time I was single, for starters. Now everyone and their mum is using them.
So today I thought, for the lolz, I’d share with you some of the things I do and don’t miss about dating. Let me know if you can relate to any!
1. I do miss the butterflies that you get. Okay, that’s a nice way of saying those terrifying nerves that make you almost throw up; but you know what I mean. It can be nice to like someone so much they make you nervous!
2. I definitely don’t miss the games that dating brings with it. Shall I text first? Do I leave it a day before I reply? He’s read my message but is ignoring me, what does this mean? Ugh.. I genuinely don’t have the patience for all this.
3. I do miss the freedom you can feel with dating casually. To be honest, with this I just mean you don’t have to feel guilty if you’re feeling a little selfish and want to have alone time/hang out with friends. Of course I get both of these things now, but I also make precious time for my relationship and I love this. But prioritising myself all the time would be interesting! Haha.
4. I don’t miss the’ acting cool’ phase. Whether it’s the fact that he loves deep sea diving (Oh my god, me too! Yeah honestly!) or you’ve pretended that Star Wars is totally your thing too (or whatever thing he loves that you don’t), we all tend to do this cringey thing of trying to seem totally cool about everything. I’m not really sure why. I usually give it a few weeks before the real me shows through, when I can’t pretend I’m that cool anymore. I wish I didn’t do it at all, but yeah it happens. Please tell me this isn’t just me who has done this (I vow I never will again!).
5. I do miss the wining and dining! Now I don’t want to come across as a pampered princess, because truth be told I’m very spoiled on a regular basis still from Gary, and to do any more would be silly. But there’s no denying in the early stages of dating you’re both on such good behaviour that you’re constantly looking to make the other one smile. After 5 years though sometimes we DO have to talk about whose turn it is to do the dishes.
6. I don’t miss going out as a single girl at all to be honest. I can remember being on many girls night outs where everyone would be looking to pull, and I’d just be interested in my next drink. I never thought I’d actually meet anyone worthwhile by doing so drunk and messy in a club; and so I ignored often flattering advances of even nice-seeming guys. It bored the hell out of me. And usually my mates would be like, ‘Why not?!’, they didn’t seem to get it. So nope, don’t miss this. These days I get to deny people instantly with ‘Sorry I have a boyfriend!’ and my friends aren’t asking me why I turned mr blue eyes down.
7. I do miss the gossip! Oh my lord that was one of the best things about being with someone new; talking it over and analysing every last detail with your best friends. I can’t do that these days. What am I gossip with my friends about? If I tell them the nice things he’s done it looks braggy now we’re years down the line, and I don’t need any advice for any problems really – I know him better than he knows himself!
8. And finally, I don’t miss the coupled friends pitying me just because I was single. I never saw anything better or worse about being single or coupled up, and I hated those people who put their insecurities on me. I was very happy being single, and I’m now very happy loved up. I will never be one of those people!
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