We’ve all had that feeling of wanting to fit in haven’t we? It can be the cause of many a cry, a lonesome feeling or a downright moody bitch fit. Why aren’t I like them? Why am I different? If I were like that too, I’d be happier!
And the thing is, we’re all just trying to squeeze ourselves into boxes half the time aren’t we? It’s not that we want to fit in so much that we blend into the scene like actual human camouflage (okay apart from those dreaded school years where many of us genuinely did hope to sink into the shadows). It’s that we want to be put into particular boxes with particular feelings.
Nobody is like, ‘god I’d LOVE to be just as boring and uninteresting as the rest of my neighbours’, or ‘I really hope I fit in so well in the blogging community that nobody notices me!’ No. We want to get in those fancy boxes that put us with the people we deem cool, popular, or ‘perfect’. We daydream about fitting in to THOSE scenes so much it can ruin our mood quite quickly when we realise we aren’t anywhere near that level. Social media is probably the worst culprit of this (she says, willy nilly, without zero research or cares to give); because we only ever see people’s highlight reel. We bang on and on about this too, ‘Remember you’re only seeing the good bits!’, ‘It’s not always what it looks like on social media!’ and that’s bullshit too. Sure the actual message is very true, but we all say it in the hopes we ourselves will believe it, and we very rarely do.
We’re all hoping to be in the elite crowd of ‘chosen ones’, and all the while acting like we’re not. Because that’s not how you get there is it? You must get there accidentally, so you can perfect that ‘Oh wow, Me?!’ face. The worst is, once you get yourself into that elite crowd, you don’t even feel like you fit in then either. You feel like a fraud, you worry everyone else knows it, you constantly compare yourself and you wait for the other shoe to drop and bring you back down to reality. The reality where you look on in wonder and imagine how wonderful your life would be if ONLY you could get to that level again.
It all seems like quite a lot of mental and emotional work really. I’m 100% describing myself too, in different parts of my life; so please don’t think this post is judgemental. But it is something I’m becoming more and more tired of as I grow older. Life should be easy shouldn’t it? It should be about doing something you love, finding people who make you happy, and trying to do some good in this world.. right? So why are so many of us wasting precious time scrolling and comparing, berating ourselves constantly?
Maybe we’ll never fit in. Maybe ‘fitting in’ is an illusion we’re all trying to chase, even if we know deep down we’ll never quite get there.
So live boldly, celebrate yourself, be proud of the very unique little box you’re in. And remember, the person you envy probably feels this and experiences this too.
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