If you follow me on social media, you’ve probably already seen our special news, but here goes anyway. We’re having a baby! Due 25th November 2018, we can’t wait to start our little family. Gary and I have been absolutely dying to tell people for so long, and it’s lovely that we can now share the news. If you’d like to keep up to date with my pregnancy, and day to day life, follow my Instagram for more!
While I’ve been going through this first trimester, I found myself really wanting to document everything as I go. It feels so special, and so I decided to keep a little week by week diary of how it’s been so far. I’ve tried to be as honest as possible, so I hope you guys enjoy!
Week 4: Surprise! I genuinely had no suspicions or hopes I’d be pregnant this time, but we were lucky! If you’d like to hear how we found out exactly, then go over to my Instagram and click on my ‘BABY NEWS’ highlights. This first week was simply a flurry of excitement, shock, nerves, and ‘OMG OMG OMG’. I told my Mum about the news, and a very close friend or two; just because I knew I’d need advice from these people (one of my best friends is a nurse who has two children, so she was the first person I ran to haha!). But otherwise, we kept it quiet and it was SO HARD not to tell! My skin started to show symptoms, I suffered with a real increase in dry patches (which is extremely rare for me) and I seemed to have an allergic reaction to some soup and bread which had always been fine for me (weird!), but I soon realised it was my hormones going crazy and affecting me in all sorts of ways. I immediately made sure I was eating as best as possible, avoiding anything unhealthy or not recommended, and taking folic acid everyday. I also got almost NO WORK done this whole week, I was so distracted and excited. I definitely had baby brain going on.
Week 5: This week hit me hard with exhaustion, and first wave of nausea. I didn’t actually throw up, but I did feel like I was going to for about 2 hours. However I’d already stocked up on ginger tea and ginger biscuits, since everywhere recommends them for morning sickness; and thankfully they worked! I got my first wave of morning sickness in the evening though, so baby is obviously a night owl like me. My skin was just as bad this week, and it actually affected me quite a bit. So I’m going to share something a bit personal now okay?? Okay I won’t be too graphic, but basically.. even the skin on my ‘downstairs’ was irritated. This was completely new to me, and I did something I should NEVER have done. I googled my symptoms. Yep, within minutes I was convinced I had cancer of the downstairs, and I was full on panicking. It actually got so bad that I started crying, and I quickly Whatsapped my bestie (the nurse) to ask about it. She quickly calmed me down and made me realise how silly I was being. She told me what to do, and the irritation went away within a few days. My panic was for nothing! Turns out pregnancy really can just mess with your whole bod, even this early on. I’m never usually the type to panic, and definitely not usually the type to Google things; so I can only blame this episode on my raging hormones. In week 5 Gary and I also settled on our baby names. We’ve had the first names chosen for YEARS (seriously) but we just had to sort the middle name combo, etc. And we’ve got it perfected now, I can’t wait for you guys to hear them! We also bought our first baby outfit, a cute Disney Dumbo set and some socks. We couldn’t resist!
Week 6: This week seen my nausea go full throttle. I felt sick around the clock, and the only time it died down a little was after I’d eaten something. But my appetite had totally gone altogether, even my favourite foods and treats couldn’t tempt me. So I’d simply snack on little things constantly, to keep the nausea away and try to get some goodness in my body. It was a rough for sure, but I started to get used to it and knew how to help myself. We also had the very first appointment with our midwife this week. A lot of women do this around 8 weeks, but as soon as I phoned my GP they got me booked in really quick with my community midwife. It went great, she was lovely, and explained I’d be seeing her or one of her two other colleagues throughout my appointments. She went through our full medical history, and answered all the questions we had as nervous first time parents. She told us to look out for a letter in the post with the date of our first scan, at around 12 weeks – and we couldn’t wait! During week 6 my best friends also kindly sent me a huge bunch of flowers and a card, which were absolutely beautiful! I hadn’t announced publicly, but it was so nice that our nearest and dearest were so happy for us during this secretive time. We also got ourselves a little organised by buying our first baby book (this one), and making a list of things we needed to buy for baby. This is the week we also got our car, yay!
Week 7: This was the week we got our letter through the post, confirming that our scan would be the morning of May 14th, and we got so excited! It felt like a million miles away, and I was so impatient to know that baby was ok, we were doing good, and of course to share the news with everyone! We also bought our first ‘proper’ thing for the baby (apart from some little clothes) – the moses basket and stand. I like to be prepared so I’ve tried to make sure each month we will be ticking things we need off our list. This was also the week of my 30th birthday, and we visited Liverpool so I could see friends and family. It was lovely, and I felt happy and spoiled.
Week 8 AND 9: I can’t even put into words how bad weeks 8 and 9 were. I had no energy, I was sick every hour or two around the clock, and I couldn’t do ANYTHING. I was dehydrated because every time I ate or drank, it came back up. I couldn’t get out, I was confined to the sofa, and it made me feel deeply depressed. I started to really get upset that I hadn’t been creative in weeks and weeks; and it sort of felt like I was lost. Without being productive/creative/motivated – I didn’t feel like myself at all. I binge watched a lot of Teen Mom 2, cried, and carried a sick bucket around the house with me. It felt so fucking hard. Oh, also developed a fuck load of headaches constantly these weeks two. Fun. But apparently baby was developing tiny teeth around this point. Wonderful and weird.
Week 10: Just as sick, still couldn’t move much without wanting to throw up – but SLIGHTLY more energy!! YAY. Now I’m not talking running a marathon here, but simple things like doing some chores, popping the shop, etc – started to feel doable. I’m sure Gary was relieved, because he had done EVERYTHING for me for the past month. This was the week I was supposed to have my first set of blood tests done too; to check on me and baby, and screen the likelyhood for things like Downs Syndrome, etc. It was scary. Especially because I’m TERRIFIED of needles. Like, throw up/faint levels of terrified. After throwing up lots in the morning, sitting in a waiting room hoping I wasn’t going to be sick in front of everyone, and eventually getting to sit down with the midwife – she told me they had booked me in too early. I was 10 weeks and 2 days pregnant. But they couldn’t do all the tests they needed (that we opted for, you have a choice), until I was 10 weeks and 4 days pregnant. I know, so specific. But there we go. I’d gotten dressed and held my sick in for nothing. We got back in the car, and I went sick in a carrier bag.
Week 11: This was the week I went BACK to the midwife, and finally got those tests done. Not that I wanted them, but I was glad when it was over. I was shaking so much, she asked if I needed to lie down. But we got through it in the end. I started to be sick a little less this week too, THANK GAWD. Instead of being sick every few hours, I was sick twice in the morning and maybe once or twice before bed. Sounds awful still (and it was) but it felt amazing to have a few hours without my head down the toilet, obvs. We also got around to telling the rest of Gary’s close family the news this week; and his Gran cried with joy – so that was lovely!
Week 12: We’re here! It’s finally time to announce the news publicly, and I honestly couldn’t wait. I know it will have been obvious to a few people, but I’ve felt AWFUL lying to others. I’ve been so exhausted and sick that I haven’t been blogging, talking to friends, or doing anything really. So I’ve felt so bad because I know my distance has looked cold. I will also say, if you ever wonder if someone you know is pregnant – DON’T ASK THEM. If they wanted you to know, they will have told you. But you asking them means they now have to choose between lying (badly, if you’re me) or confessing, even though they might not be at all ready to. I was disappointed to say a few people did ask me, and even though I tried to dodge the question, I felt super pestered, and like a terrible liar which made things worse. So I really recommend never asking, you’ll find out when they’re ready!
ANYWAY. It’s been a hell of a journey already, and I can’t believe we’re a third of the way in. I’m so, so, SO happy, excited, overwhelmed and feel blessed. But I can also confidently say this has already been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I didn’t realise parts of myself I’d be giving up. The physical sides were obvious, but I had no idea how much it would affect my mental health too. In truth, I can’t see me ever doing this again for another baby in the future, haha! I’m very glad we’re doing this, but one pregnancy seems quite enough already.
I hope you guys have enjoyed this little snippet into the past 3 months of our secret! I’m now taking bets in the comments on whether we’re having a boy or girl…! (And yes, we will be finding out!)
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